You probably don’t get this one too much.

I
notice everything.  Going on in a room.  My filters don’t seem to have
a very useable "on" switch.  To be perfectly honest – it is quite a bit
much to handle.  Everything coming in at once, the brain seemingly
analyzing it all to the nth degree.  Sometimes I go so far into the
analysis, response no longer seems important.  Chess can happen that
way – you forward think the movements so much, you forget where you
were going to start with them.  In all honesty, for me, this is around
5 moves.  Once I get more than 5 planned it starts to get pretty
difficult.

This
is how some will describe ADD.  Attention Deficit Disorder is what I
have become quite aware I have.  Tested for it in High School and
prescribed one form of medication, a type of Ritalin, and turned into a
Type A personality (for the uninformed, this means ASSHOLE – but could
be described by others as a very motivated individual, just very
uncaring) BUT noticed how the static went away.  The extra stuff that
kept moving me away from whatever I might have been focusing on. 
Seriously – you even are going somewhere after something and get there
and not know what you set out to get.  Also makes for very interesting
conversations where you have to remind yourself what you were talking
about.  Pretty cool ehh?  When good humored people are around it can be
a lot of fun but cause one thing you CANNOT EVER forget about in life
is that you CAN and most often SHOULD laugh at yourself.  You don’t
have to do like 2003 Damnoen Saen-um, a Thai ice cream salesman, who is
reported to have died while laughing in his sleep at the age of 52. 
Must’ve been some dream right?  He’s not alone in this, on March 24th
1975 Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from King’s Lynn, England,
died laughing while watching an episode of The Goodies, featuring a
Scotsman in a kilt battling a vicious black pudding with his bagpipes. 
After twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter Mitchell finally
slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure. His widow later
sent the Goodies a letter thanking them for making Mitchell’s final
moments so pleasant.  Okay I took that one directly from Wikipedia, god
those guys do good work.  What was I talking about?  Oh yeah ADD.  They
should write one of those you might have ADD if books.  I should
probably be the one to do it.  Who knows, I might even be able to stay
on track long enough to make a few of them and then do it again a few
times… never know.  This also shows one of my other traits – I have a
very creative personality.  This is a strength that gets shown every
now and then, which by the way is a great candy like star-bursts, and
is only one of the facets that makes up my person.

One
of my other facets is that I have a very strong feeling I have either a
dissociative disorder or a social anxiety.  Probably more on the side
of the social anxiety and it would make since if it came from the ADD. 
My over perception of my surroundings causes me to psychoanalyze myself
around quite a few corners.  That does wonders for one’s headspace let
me disclose to you!  Yet the way to let all of that deflate is through
that self appreciating laughter.  You could say this should be obvious,
but we are our own worst critiques.  See, it is so important to note a
feature of you – decide if you like it or don’t like it and do
something about it to continue that activity or siphon it off your
portrait.  People with ADD are always late right?  Yes, we are.  So, I
have a calendar because I know I won’t remember hardly anything I do
otherwise.  It is kept online – and I can access it from about
anywhere.  This is my other way of coping with some of the affects my
slightly stilted reality must endure.  With all of these abilities and
cravats I take the world on, both horns at a time.  The bull rushes at
me as if I were bathed in red – hell I could probably out shine the
best lights of the red light districts in Tokyo Town.  Doesn’t matter
though, it is my enjoyment to champion my persona with my future.

I’m
in great shape.  Have quite a number of friends.  Have kept a plant and
animal alive for some time and am even living on my own (well, it’s one
room mate).  These are accomplishments that I have.

Now
I set myself towards finishing my BIS with a minor in Business
Management at Columbia College.  The doors are opening before me, it is
up to me to walk through, clam the room, and finally start earning
equity on the establishment.  The first week at work was excellent – I
got to fix several issues, see direct results of my actions and found
out that I work with quite a few witty, intelligent, and caring
co-workers.  A little change from corporate-sell-your-soul America? 
Quite.

Wish
me luck, this is going to be my greatest achievement to date.  I will
finish College just after I turn 30, which is about the same time my
father got his feet under him and meet my mom.  While a sophisticated
girl beside me would be the cherry on top, I know this happens with or
without my direct guidance or effort.  It happens to be a by-product of
a near-close relationship where the girl wants to get to know you, but
you don’t let her directly so she is constantly trying to get into your
head.  Since you both have your own goals and mutually care about each
other’s goals, it works.  The thing that is so vital for me is to
remember that my ADD mind MUST stay on track and not fall off course or
get pre-occupied with thoughts of things that can’t/won’t happen.  Let
the world revolve around, one day the rubrics cube will fall into place
– you can’t rush a good thing and you certainly can’t force it either.

So
I meet a girl recently that is married and has a kid, she seems to be a
lot like me in that she has a predisposition to notice quite a lot.  In
this she has noticed how her presence causes the energy in a situation
to become more chaotic.  Yes, I cause by mere presence, chaos.  You
might think this is neat and that it would be great to be never bored,
yet this is quite another arrangement.  In this collage, you see me
with a flurry of action around me that may not directly affect me. 
Usually does, but still I have friends that have noticed this as well. 
In talking to this lady as I worked on her computer, her son, a boy no
greater than 4 starts working to get extra attention from Mom and
directs it towards the father.  Yes, this kid cock blocks me without
having a clue what he is doing and probably why as well.  Hhaa haaaaa! 
I was FINE with this, the mom was honestly paying WAY too much
attention my way and it was almost leaving me feeling odd.  What I
couldn’t believe was that I felt at home with someone else that lives
such a chaotic life or that short-stuff was able to see what was going
on as well as he did.

So
key note – love yourself, love your neighbor, love life and don’t try
to hit on 3 yr old’s moms that are married and in fact, hitting on
married women is probably not in the allowed swimming pool activities
list.

Much love to all my friends, you are my heroes,
Jonny5

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