One of those funny things about feelings is that you can feel bad about them.  Why, you are human and it is human to feel things right?

Why should you feel bad about loving someone, it is not they who pretended to love you and then took it away.  They didn’t tease you or hold out false promise.  You decided that you were going to love them unconditionally.  It was your choice.  You didn’t demand or really think anything was GOING to come back, but hope is something to hold on for.  "Cliffhanger" might not be the best occupational choice here though.

It is also normal to hate this person at the same time as loving them.

Being hurt, disappointed, closed off.  Not everyone is capable of drawing out the multiple dimensions of the heart, but some are.  We love them so much we could hug their skin off, but hate them so much we want to punch them into next week.

All of these, all of those, emotions are normal so long as you are expressing what is in side of you and not just reacting to someone else’s emotions.

If you express your emotions by reaction alone instead of feeling out what is inside of you and going on that journey of self discovery, finding your power creature, spider-monkey, and the girl that goes to the support group meetings too, having the best sex of your natural life, and getting to blow up the credit card franchise as your alter ego.

He tried to hold his back.  Fight Club was one of the few outlets for all that emotion, all of that competition, and all of that certainty.  One would win.

I will never feel bad for having loved.  I will never feel regret for closeness.  I want to one day share that with someone that is willing to share her’s with me.

Could just be that my muscles are sore from lack of exercise or the same work-out for so long.

Either way, I’ve been up too long and deserve a good night’s rest after a quite successful day today.

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